Forgiveness
Forgiveness.
Once upon a time, I was a little girl; and the worst thing a person did to me was cheat in a board game, or make fun of me, or take away the toy I was playing with.
Ha, it's funny how when you're a kid you have a perfect, magical view of life. Everything is fun, nobody is mean to each other, responsibilities? You mean cleaning my room? What are bills? Having a job is something you do for fun, not a necessity. Then BAM. Welcome to adulthood! (Actually not, growing up isn't as fun and perfect as it seemed when you were 8 years old; looking up to all the "cool, older people")
I had a pretty easy, carefree childhood. I don't have a crazy, tear-jerking story with a huge list of wrongs I need to forgive people of. I just have the story of growing up. Making mistakes, being a part of other people's mistakes, learning by doing, being molded and shaped God. And I think one thing that is needed in every stage of life, every level of learning, is this thing of forgiveness.
How do you describe a word like this?
It is something you can never do enough of.
Once upon a time, I was a little girl; and the worst thing a person did to me was cheat in a board game, or make fun of me, or take away the toy I was playing with.
Ha, it's funny how when you're a kid you have a perfect, magical view of life. Everything is fun, nobody is mean to each other, responsibilities? You mean cleaning my room? What are bills? Having a job is something you do for fun, not a necessity. Then BAM. Welcome to adulthood! (Actually not, growing up isn't as fun and perfect as it seemed when you were 8 years old; looking up to all the "cool, older people")
I had a pretty easy, carefree childhood. I don't have a crazy, tear-jerking story with a huge list of wrongs I need to forgive people of. I just have the story of growing up. Making mistakes, being a part of other people's mistakes, learning by doing, being molded and shaped God. And I think one thing that is needed in every stage of life, every level of learning, is this thing of forgiveness.
Lets start here; what happens when you don't forgive? You make yourself the host of a pity-party for one. Your unwillingness to forgive starts as a wound inflicted on your pride/your idea of how life is supposed to happen. Then it becomes bitterness toward the person you think doesn't deserve your forgiveness (or maybe needs your apology?). You put yourself in a position of "one who is always in the right" Which becomes hatred and effects your thinking. Poisons the heart.
There are SO many different levels of being wronged. And I cannot begin to address them all; Some require therapy, others mentoring, and all of them forgiveness.
I have experienced my share of pain, heartache, wounds and rejection. But, as soon as I try to hold onto my hurt, and nurse the feelings of being entitled to better treatment, it is then that I have forgotten what I am capable of; in the power of Christ and His redemptive blood in my life.
Love.
Love will cover a multitude of sin.
Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy or boast.
Love is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on it's own way.
Love is not irritable or resentful.
Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things.
Love believes all things.
Love hopes all things.
Love endures all things.
Love never ends.
(1 Corinthians 13, 1 Peter 4:8)
Love forgives. You may think "But I don't love that person, and I don't want to!" My response. "And.....? Your point is?"
We love because He first loved us.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
(Romans 13:8-10, Galations 5:22-23, 1 John 13:34-35, Romans 12:9, John 15:12, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 4:16, 1 John 4:19 [you might just want to read 1 John 4], Colossians 3:14-15)
Maaaaybe it's just me.... but this doesn't sound like bitterness, resentment, or grudge holding. It kinda sounds like forgiveness.
There's another thing that I have the hardest time understanding. When brothers and sisters in Christ choose not forgive, and would rather tear each other down. Like what?? Newsflash! You aren't doing anyone any good by harboring that boat loaded with hate. Chances are you'll start unloading your cargo and negatively affecting those moored around you. Unlike cargo, hate doesn't diminish by dishing it out on other people.
And just cutting off the person doesn't really fix anything either. At that point you're just dealing with the circumstances externally. When on the inside you still haven't forgiven them, like maybe if you can just not think about it, then it will go away. Well, I hate to break it to ya, but that's pretty much NOT how forgiveness and the love of Christ works.
Here is what I have learned about forgiveness and love.
It is way easier to forgive someone by just praying for them. You may also find that in the end, you have grown to love them. And when you stop praying, it is all too easy for bitterness to start creeping back in.
Also, when you forgive you're not only obeying God, but it is so much healthier to nourish love, than to be poisoned with hate.
You feel so much freer with forgiveness.
Forgiveness and love heal. (I kinda think they go together; forgiveness and love.)
As soon as you get it in your head that people are not perfect, the better. Also, the sooner you love and forgive as a decision, the better! Rather than waiting around for some wisp of an emotion to come naturally that makes us feel like forgiving. In case you haven't heard, man is naturally sinful, naturally selfish, naturally prideful, and so many other bad things by nature. We are all born in sin, and usually what comes out of the heart can't be trusted. It's only by the strength of Christ that we can do anything good, and He has kinda commanded us to forgive, so.... I'd suggest just doing it.
Clarification.
Just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean that you have to suddenly become best buddies. That's not what I'm implying when I put love and forgiveness together.
What I do mean, is that if you muster up your forgiveness and just make that choice, even when you don't feel like it, let go of hurt and wrongs done to you, and yet you still try not to think about them or what they did to you because you're still a little sour over it, and you're not able to love them with the love of Christ, I'm going to hesitantly make the strong statement that you really haven't forgiven them. Externally? Yes. But in your heart? No.
The Lord tells us to have peace, (and is the source of the peace. Cool how that works, eh? :) ) and hanging onto our list of wrongs isn't bringing anybody any peace.
Call me out on this, reject it, give a different description of love and forgiveness; I'd love to hear it! But you would have to back it up with scripture before I would believe it.
Read 2 Corinthians 2:1-11, specifically the verse that gets me is verse 8. Maybe I'm not reading it correctly, or I just don't know enough context, but it sounds to me like verse 8 is telling us to reaffirm our love to those we forgive.
I'm not an expert. I make mistakes. ALWAYS TEST WHAT I SAY AGAINST SCRIPTURE. Let me know when I'm off.
BUT PLEASE DON'T LOSE THE CHANCE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND FORGIVE SOMEONE.
Unforgiveness puts you in a prison cell in which you have the key to, but still choose not to free yourself from it.
Now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Matthew 5:9
Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but those who plan peace have joy.
Proverbs 12:20
We rep Christ, just keep that in mind.
There are SO many different levels of being wronged. And I cannot begin to address them all; Some require therapy, others mentoring, and all of them forgiveness.
I have experienced my share of pain, heartache, wounds and rejection. But, as soon as I try to hold onto my hurt, and nurse the feelings of being entitled to better treatment, it is then that I have forgotten what I am capable of; in the power of Christ and His redemptive blood in my life.
Love.
Love will cover a multitude of sin.
Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy or boast.
Love is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on it's own way.
Love is not irritable or resentful.
Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things.
Love believes all things.
Love hopes all things.
Love endures all things.
Love never ends.
(1 Corinthians 13, 1 Peter 4:8)
Love forgives. You may think "But I don't love that person, and I don't want to!" My response. "And.....? Your point is?"
We love because He first loved us.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
(Romans 13:8-10, Galations 5:22-23, 1 John 13:34-35, Romans 12:9, John 15:12, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 4:16, 1 John 4:19 [you might just want to read 1 John 4], Colossians 3:14-15)
Maaaaybe it's just me.... but this doesn't sound like bitterness, resentment, or grudge holding. It kinda sounds like forgiveness.
There's another thing that I have the hardest time understanding. When brothers and sisters in Christ choose not forgive, and would rather tear each other down. Like what?? Newsflash! You aren't doing anyone any good by harboring that boat loaded with hate. Chances are you'll start unloading your cargo and negatively affecting those moored around you. Unlike cargo, hate doesn't diminish by dishing it out on other people.
And just cutting off the person doesn't really fix anything either. At that point you're just dealing with the circumstances externally. When on the inside you still haven't forgiven them, like maybe if you can just not think about it, then it will go away. Well, I hate to break it to ya, but that's pretty much NOT how forgiveness and the love of Christ works.
Here is what I have learned about forgiveness and love.
It is way easier to forgive someone by just praying for them. You may also find that in the end, you have grown to love them. And when you stop praying, it is all too easy for bitterness to start creeping back in.
Also, when you forgive you're not only obeying God, but it is so much healthier to nourish love, than to be poisoned with hate.
You feel so much freer with forgiveness.
Forgiveness and love heal. (I kinda think they go together; forgiveness and love.)
As soon as you get it in your head that people are not perfect, the better. Also, the sooner you love and forgive as a decision, the better! Rather than waiting around for some wisp of an emotion to come naturally that makes us feel like forgiving. In case you haven't heard, man is naturally sinful, naturally selfish, naturally prideful, and so many other bad things by nature. We are all born in sin, and usually what comes out of the heart can't be trusted. It's only by the strength of Christ that we can do anything good, and He has kinda commanded us to forgive, so.... I'd suggest just doing it.
Clarification.
Just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean that you have to suddenly become best buddies. That's not what I'm implying when I put love and forgiveness together.
What I do mean, is that if you muster up your forgiveness and just make that choice, even when you don't feel like it, let go of hurt and wrongs done to you, and yet you still try not to think about them or what they did to you because you're still a little sour over it, and you're not able to love them with the love of Christ, I'm going to hesitantly make the strong statement that you really haven't forgiven them. Externally? Yes. But in your heart? No.
The Lord tells us to have peace, (and is the source of the peace. Cool how that works, eh? :) ) and hanging onto our list of wrongs isn't bringing anybody any peace.
Call me out on this, reject it, give a different description of love and forgiveness; I'd love to hear it! But you would have to back it up with scripture before I would believe it.
Read 2 Corinthians 2:1-11, specifically the verse that gets me is verse 8. Maybe I'm not reading it correctly, or I just don't know enough context, but it sounds to me like verse 8 is telling us to reaffirm our love to those we forgive.
I'm not an expert. I make mistakes. ALWAYS TEST WHAT I SAY AGAINST SCRIPTURE. Let me know when I'm off.
BUT PLEASE DON'T LOSE THE CHANCE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND FORGIVE SOMEONE.
Unforgiveness puts you in a prison cell in which you have the key to, but still choose not to free yourself from it.
Now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Matthew 5:9
Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but those who plan peace have joy.
Proverbs 12:20
We rep Christ, just keep that in mind.
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